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Seashell ritual to dream up shared plans as a couple

In many Mediterranean traditions the seashell is a symbol of Venus, who according to myth was born from the sea foam, and also of journeys and paths walked together. With everyday life, couples easily end up talking only about what is urgent and stop imagining the future. This ritual invites you to dream out loud together: each of you brings a wish, you choose a shared one and give its first step a date. Nobody convinces anybody: it is about discovering what excites you both.

By the Cardaluna editorial team · Updated

In short: In many Mediterranean traditions the seashell is a symbol of Venus, who according to myth was born from the sea foam, and also of journeys and paths walked together. You need 5 simple items and 5 steps. When: At the new moon, the phase of sowing, or on a date that is special to you, such as an anniversary.

When to do it

At the new moon, the phase of sowing, or on a date that is special to you, such as an anniversary. Choose an unhurried evening and only do it if you both want to.

What you need

  • Two clean seashells (bought, or collected only where it is allowed)
  • A small light blue or white candle in a stable holder
  • Two small pieces of paper and two pens
  • A small saucer or shallow bowl
  • A candle snuffer or a teaspoon

Step by step

  1. Place the candle in its holder on a stable, non-flammable surface, away from curtains and paper, and light it. Keep the shells and the saucer a hand’s width from the flame.
  2. Each of you writes on your paper a dream you would like to live as a couple this year: a trip, a change at home, a new habit, something to learn together.
  3. Take turns reading the papers and talk about them with curiosity, without ruling anything out. Then choose one plan that excites you both.
  4. On the back of one paper, write the first concrete step and a date to take it. Fold both papers, place them on the saucer and cover them with the shells as you say: “We dream together and we walk together.”
  5. Put out the candle with the snuffer or the teaspoon, without blowing, and leave the saucer somewhere at home where you will often see it.

Safety first

Never leave a lit candle unattended. Place it in a stable, heat-resistant holder away from curtains, paper, children and pets, and put it out with a snuffer.

These rituals are symbolic. Do not ingest herbs or oils, ventilate the room when burning incense or herbs, and never perform a ritual to harm or control anyone.

To finish

When you take the first step, open the paper and note how it went; when you fulfil the plan, keep the shells as a memento and start again with another dream. Shells can have sharp edges: keep them out of reach of small children. Never leave the candle burning unattended or within reach of children or pets. To nurture your everyday conversations too, pair it with the cardamom ritual.