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Sunflower ritual to appreciate the little things as a couple

The sunflower turns towards the light every day, which is why in many places it stands for attention and gratitude. In a relationship, the little everyday gestures, like a coffee made for you, a message in the afternoon or a chore done without being asked, easily go unnoticed once routine sets in. This ritual invites you both to look at each other the way a sunflower looks at the sun: noticing the good and saying it out loud.

By the Cardaluna editorial team · Updated

In short: The sunflower turns towards the light every day, which is why in many places it stands for attention and gratitude. You need 4 simple items and 5 steps. When: Start on a Monday and finish the following Sunday.

When to do it

Start on a Monday and finish the following Sunday. It is especially lovely during busy or tiring times, when it is easiest to take each other for granted. Only do it if you both want to.

What you need

  • A fresh sunflower in a vase of water (or a potted sunflower)
  • Two small notebooks or one shared notebook
  • Two pens
  • A spot at home where you both see the sunflower every day

Step by step

  1. On Monday, place the sunflower together somewhere you pass every day. Each of you says: "This week I'm going to notice what you do for us."
  2. Every night before bed, write in your notebook one specific thing your partner did that day, however small: "You saved me the last piece of bread", "You listened when I got home tired."
  3. Each time you change the water in the vase, turn it slightly towards the window light as a reminder to keep looking at the good.
  4. On Sunday, sit together in front of the sunflower and take turns reading your lists. The listener doesn't comment or argue, they just say: "Thank you, I didn't know you'd noticed."
  5. Together, choose one gesture from each other's list that you would love to see more often and write it on a note next to the vase.

Safety first

These rituals are symbolic. Do not ingest herbs or oils, ventilate the room when burning incense or herbs, and never perform a ritual to harm or control anyone.

To finish

When the sunflower fades, keep a few seeds or dried petals in the notebook as a memento of your week of gratitude. Sunflowers are generally not toxic to dogs and cats, but keep them out of reach so pets don't chew the leaves or knock over the vase, and wipe up pollen if anyone at home is sensitive. To keep nurturing your closeness, pair it with the shared chocolate ritual or the memory box ritual.